Are you passive-aggressive? Always the one who ends the relationship? Or the one that is always unwilling to end it? Did your partners say the same things about you? Were you being treated the same way in every relationship? Always felt like being taken for granted?
We all have patterns. One way or another..healthy or unhealthy. Those who have healthy habits, good on ya. Those patterns that aren’t good for us, let’s identify them and break away from it.
Firstly, pay attention and observe. Look back at your past relationships and identify, what was the issue and behavior that repeats itself in each relationship. For me, it was being passive-aggressive, shutting people out, and rejecting them before I could be rejected. Or not talking to them in a form of punishment. I also observed that I was being taken for granted a lot, mostly after the infatuation period.
When I take note of my patterns, I start to find out why I react that way. What past or beliefs do I have about it and what is a better way to respond, instead of reacting to it. Once I set the intention to break out of this unhealthy pattern, I learn to equip myself with the knowledge. So whenever it is repeated unconsciously, I know now… what would be a healthier way to reply to my partner, what would be a healthier way to act in that situation.
Most of the time, it is practicing good communication skills. We are definitely not born to be able to communicate effectively, however it is a skill that will serve you well in all areas of your life. Not only in your relationships, with family, friends, at work, and setting boundaries for yourself.
How else can we expect someone to understand, if we do not teach them how to love us.
